ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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