Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
