whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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