So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
