cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
