i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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