he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
