It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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