she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Randomize
