I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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