last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize