I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
