ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
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