Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
