Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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