I'm lost and stupid without you.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
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