i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
