if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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