we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
