There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
