You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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