We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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