Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
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