mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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