we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
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