I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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