you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
