feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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