Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
we're making bets on your personal life
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
You are a genius and a whore.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
