I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
