you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
