blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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