finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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