she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
