She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
