you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
