I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
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