I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
