If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
