i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
