Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
