i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
