finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
