Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
