just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
