Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Randomize
