I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
