she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
