Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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