Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
