Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize
