I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
