If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
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