I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
