Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I want her autograph on my taint
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Randomize
